Living a colourful life - CSD Berlin 2016
|Art Journal - Christopher Street Day in Berlin - with Dresden represented.|
That's also how I prefer other people to handle it. At the very least the 'not talking to me about it' part.
But after the attack in Orlando, I went to work. And there, people ignored what had happened, or felt it was appropriate to make stupid comments at lunch. I'm not gay. Or latino. Or do drag. But I do feel like it is my community, and it was attacked. So this year, I wanted to go to the Pride parade - CSD Berlin.
I went with AktivistA, a group with the purpose to inform about asexuality. Walking with them, carrying a poster and wearing ace colours, I have never felt more conspicuous in my whole life. For several hours, everyone who looked and read the signs, knew about a part of me that I just don't talk about. For reasons that quickly became clear, because even at an event as open as the CSD, people were pointing and laughing and making comments I wish I hadn't heard. But there also were a few people happy to see us, telling us that they were glad to have confirmation that such a thing existed. And these people were one of the reasons I went as well.
I used to think about my sexuality a lot. I wondered who I was attracted to. I wondered about having sex. I had sex, just to try it. (It was okay and underwhelming. Every time.) I was nerdy enough to research it. I thought about trying one-night stands just to 'get unstuck', until a friend had a really horrific experience with that. I felt weird. And eventually, through discussions with other people on tumblr, I realised my 'problem'. During CSD, I wanted to walk with other asexual people to spread awareness, so that other people might see it, and it might help someone as confused as I was. No one should feel that broken.
I also walked to show solidarity with the queer community, which I feel I belong to. And through all the music and happy faces, there was a sad tone in the air. There were political slogans - pro EU, anti Trump, warning about Turkey. There was a collection of flags from countries where homosexual relationships or transgender people are still outlawed. There were open protests to the German system of registered partnership instead of marriage, and against the listing of HIV positive data in the police's register. But there was also something I had never paid attention to, largely because of the aforementioned 'not caring about my sexuality since finding out there wasn't one'.
There was a huge HUGE focus on homosexual people, and gay people in particular. Ther wasn't a lot of official information about the transgender community. There was little official information about lesbians, even less about bisexuals. And apart from one statement near the beginning of the parade, the official side focused on homosexual (gay) family rights. Which is totally fine, that is an important point to make and to fight for.
But without other groups joining in and walking for their cause, minorities would not be represented. And without representation, there is no knowledge in the 'normal' world. Without representation, the stupid laughs and hurtful comments and the discrimination and alienation would continue forever.
So, even if I was really really uncomfortable, I will go next time as well. And I urge you to do the same. If you are a minority, make it visible to spread knowledge. If not, inform yourself and help. Because, even though I was glad to see support and see different things represented, to have something like the CSD be closed-minded upon itself, made me sad.